Archives for: January 2012, 22

01/22/12

Permalink 07:43:32 pm, by iamhco Email , 150 words   English (US)
Categories: Uncategorized

Strobe Heart

I forget how to live
sometimes when I realize
that it's four thirty
eight and I have to

put my nylons and
skirt back on and
go to work.

The thought
sickens me.

Not because I'm
not grateful it's
because I cannot

for the life of me
grasp
balance.

I'm the sort that
needed the level
of chaos of which

I have lived
because I must
equally match that
with an exquisite

caliber of
order. I'm just
not there yet

some days
not at
all.

I don't slip off -
I often court

disaster. Today
being one of those
swift face slaps of

"You are not
paying
attention."

There is always
though

an end in
sight In some

order or
chaos or

another. I crave
order but I
only know

how to lose
the self of which
is mine that I

often cannot stand
to chaos.

Battle battle
shatter

splat.

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I write a blog. Because I want to be a writer, so writing every day makes me one. It isn't because I went to college or wrote essays. It's because I'm so full of myself I'm sick on it. I've written a book, a half of a book, and I just started another one. And I write, because I must write, at least a poem a day. I write a blog because I'm just as terminally cool as you are. You could call me Heather or you could call me Tambourine. I know where I'm from. I don't know where I'm going. I'm ordinary like a perfectly fitting gold dress on some extravagant red carpet where everyone else is a perfectly fitting gold dress too. I write on womens issues. Addiction and death from addiction. Rape and murder and joy and love and absence, madness and skills and total desperation to bridge gaps. Recovery and light and all of my x boyfriends, best friends and my lovely family that feeds me cakes of roses because I am the baby. X to Sylvia for this title. Thank you for your time with my words.

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