I forget how to live
sometimes when I realize
that it's four thirty
eight and I have to
put my nylons and
skirt back on and
go to work.
The thought
sickens me.
Not because I'm
not grateful it's
because I cannot
for the life of me
grasp
balance.
I'm the sort that
needed the level
of chaos of which
I have lived
because I must
equally match that
with an exquisite
caliber of
order. I'm just
not there yet
some days
not at
all.
I don't slip off -
I often court
disaster. Today
being one of those
swift face slaps of
"You are not
paying
attention."
There is always
though
an end in
sight In some
order or
chaos or
another. I crave
order but I
only know
how to lose
the self of which
is mine that I
often cannot stand
to chaos.
Battle battle
shatter
splat.