Conversations Among the Ruins

"Somebody
is here
to see you."

One of my bosses
says.

This is never
good. Because I
don't ever

want or appreciate
anybody
coming into my work

to watch me
be a waitress.

I am a different
person amongst those
walls.

Calm and pretty,
poised and fast.

Whitty, charming,
and I'm not allowed
to not

smile, let alone
want to cut

anybody's throat
or eye socket

out.

Breaking the masks
into each other

is simply not
my idea of a nice
visit.

My eyes fall to her
and I cannot help but
let out a gasp.

"Are you ok?"
The suit asks.

"Yes. Just
fine."

But there she sits.
I do a lap before
greeting her,

with a smile,
and a hello

because that
is what I do at work.

It is my job
to be friendly.

"Why don't you
tell all of those girls
up there

to learn your name?"

Her raspy voice
says to me in a bark.

"How are you?" I ask
with a big
wide smile, because
people are watching and

that is my job.

I give her a hug.
She tells me she is
unwell and the cat
has died.

"Unfortunate."

I can't muster up
comfort.

"How are you?" She
asks and I
just stop and feel
my face

get real for a
minute.

"Good. Everything
is good. Just
fine. I can't

actually be standing
at this bar right now.
I'm very sorry. I will

call you tomorrow."

I walk away
the only way I walk
there

quickly.

The suit told me
later, how she came
into the place,

asking for a girl
with a green bug car
from Chicago and that

she can't remember
what my name was.

And that's
fucking typical.

Some days, it's all
pretty fucking

typical.