Conversations Among the Ruins

There isn't
anything better.

She can walk
like a big girl now,
on her pink leash,

matching her pink
collar. Her brilliant
red coat

shines in the sun.

I live in a small
town and I walk
my dog in the sun

on afternoons
before work.

I swear sometimes
it's all I've ever
wanted.

The lunching ladies
at the small cafes
on the busy street

cluck over her.
An old man in a
trucker cap and

aviator shades

eating a banana
split on the sidewalk

smiles a crooked smile
as we pass.

Another old man
says to me

"Your jeans
are about broken
in"

(They have fifteen
holes)

We pass the hotel
and visit with Sandy,
an extraordinary

woman we see
most mornings

and by the
police station
Penelope lets out

a low
"Woof" at the policemen
that are kneeling
down to pet her.

We visit with the
alley cats that follow us
with aloof curiousity

and I almost drop
my coffee from the
cafe

a number
of times.

Small children
run up to us,

cars stop when we
cross the street and
the people inside of them

smile
the way that I used to
at others

when I thought I
could never be
so simple.

So

happy.

http://losangeles.ebayclassifieds.com/dogs-puppies/malibu/beautiful-miniature-dachshunds/?ad=13877793

I think we found Penelope a playmate. He is blonde and from LA like Harmon.

There will not be a twenty one year age difference between our Doxies.

LV,
HL

Listen my bosses
would probably
scare you.

They're a tough lot.
Because they run
a brand

of the best rated
quality in this
town and there is

simply not room
for error
on my end.

I have a great
respect for the
team of people

I work for. The thought
of ever working
in this industry

and not for them
makes me feel sick.

"It's not
for the faint
of heart." So many

have said. Ben and I,
we have Soda Time
most nights,

where we're parched
and exhausted,
and a bottle of pepsi

from the machine
in the back
is like liquid

gold. The machine
has been out of
soda for days.

We complained
to ourselves, and
finally

on Sunday
asked our boss.

"Guys just tell
me to call those
people and they'll

be out here tomorrow."

On Monday
we had our pepsi
so I asked her

if they could
puhleeeezzzee
put dr. pepper

in the machine.
That I'd start
a petition.

Now maybe this
sounds like nothing
out of something or

something out of
nothing but

I walked into work
today and there
was my boss, half

jogging into the
locker room to
tell me that she

brought me a
dr. pepper.

"I was just
looking at it in
my fridge and I

couldn't not bring it
for you."

I have to tell you,
this woman put
the fear of God

into me for a while
when I started, whether
it be that my

shoes were wrong
or I made the
salad wrong.

I worked
very very
very hard

this year
to be accepted
by the best

of the best. Maybe
that sounds
silly to some people

but I can't even
begin to tell you
how many times

I've quietly smiled
over the thought she
gave me with

just a can of pop.

Sometimes,
no matter how small
something might seem

somewhere else, to
someone else

it might just give them
something to be
quiet and

happy
about.

Never
underestimate
that

truth.

Do you remember
the part where I
didn't break?

Do you remember
the part
where I did?

Do you remember
when I walked away

or when elsewhere,
and otherwise I
held on?

Did I not paint my
nails fancy enough or
was I just too

smart?

Was my name too
simple and were

my hips

too awkward?

Do you know that I
have Two Face's coin
that I flip

like a fucking maniac
between my
knuckles and with

my thumb because
that's just the
sort of girl that I

grew into. Flip
happy. Do you
read this because you

still wonder
what it means
to understand

me?

Did
you
ever?

Who covered
your mouth for
all of those years

and why
did it make you
put your hands

all over
mine?

My lists are
funny these days
they say things like

"breathe"
"stretch"
"smile"

"pay your rent"
"brush your hair."
"remember

to understand
that you are just
as unique as you

are
exactly
the goddamn
same.

Celebrate
balance. Avoid
strobe lights

and people
that spend time
under them.

Cuddle.
Run.
Walk.

Remember
to be

worthy
of every line
of ecstatic

simple
truth.

Keep memory
simple because
all that shit is

really only what
your head makes it
anyway.

Today I'm just
fucking tired. Dude.
It's three in the morning

and I can't sleep
or pick up a paint brush.

So I'm just rambling,
in search of

some inclination
of progress but
today I guess

for now it's just
Hope.

"The sky is peach
and nothing has
a lot of color

because
the only color
is sonic light.

The beings
that exist have

a perpetual
moving

light in a
color pattern.

This makes up
their tangible
shape. There are

trees. I hope
I see you there
someday

too.I hope I see
you there covered

in sonic light and
we will laugh about
having human

bodies. Family
on this planet
is really

just a lottery
like system, based
upon

what you decide
to come here
to learn.

You chose
your parents.

You chose to lose
your light in place
of a body

to be here -
in order

to "experience"
on a physical
emotional

realm and
someday,

when you get
there before me,
make sure that I

see the peach
colored sky

in my dreams
and that I

will
know
where to find you."

Some days
I wake up from

sleep that
brought me there,

with a precise
idea for a
piece of art

that I cannot
quite comprehend

how to make.